My Word For 2016 Is…

This time of year, I always start to feel a little anxious.

Even though those who know me best would call me overly optimistic (true) and a little romantic about everything (also true), when Christmas rolls around and I find myself single, again, for the past four years, I feel overwhelmingly defeated. For such a magical time of year – with the shared moments, sweet memories and twinkling lights – there’s something about the days that lead up to the New Year that make me nervous for what is to come – or, well, not come. Continue reading

36 Incredibly Powerful Quotes to Live By This Year

On Monday – I’m starting the Whole30 Food Challenge (wish me all of the luck, I’m going to need it) – to get my health and fitness back on track. But more importantly than resolving to be healthier – I’m changing the way I think in my head about love.

Sure, I could write all sorts of blogs about how I feel, what I think, what men do on dates, what I want – but it all boils down to the thoughts I repeat over and over every single day. I really believe what you think has the power to shape your world, and I choose to live by positivity, passion, confidence and of course, always, love.

From my Pinterest board to yours – here are the quotes I’m going to remember. I hope you’ll find one that speaks to you – and makes you believe in all of the magic that’s waiting for you this year:

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Here’s Another Way to Find Love This Year (For Free!)

match[SPONSORED POST BY MATCH.COM]

I’ll be honest – I’ve had a love/hate relationship with online dating. I have my profiles live and most of the time, I let the messages come my way instead of putting them out. There are some really clever, thoughtful guys and some rather ridiculous ones (like these) – but the truth is, more and more people are finding love online. In fact – one in five!

At the start of the year, I turned away from app dating – looking at you, Tinder – and I focused more on sites that are more in-depth and can really pair you with someone you might like past a swipe. I’m not alone either, a recent poll on Match.com found that 51 percent of singles’ new Year’s resolutions were to be more social and focus on finding a relationship. Does it surprise you that Match sees a 25-30 percent increase in sign-ups between New Year’s and Valentine’s Day?

registration

Duh – if there’s anytime to get online and start going on dates, it’s now before you lose all of the positive mojo from the New Year.
So, if you’re interested in giving this online dating thing a whirl, take advantage of Match.com’s 3-days free date pass. If you do take the leap, here are some of my online profile tips:

-Make sure to pick some recent photos that flatter your face, body and interests (if you’re a runner, show it, if you bake the best cookies, display them!)
-Write a profile that gives more than basic information. You want to attract men who you not only find attractive, but you could be friends with, too. Don’t lie about anything!
Message at least three guys. I know, putting my foot in my mouth, but find three men you possibly could like (and who have been active in the last few days) and be forward, honest and sweet. Your goal is to quickly message and get offline. Remember: keep it quick in conversation and get to the first date faster so you can determine chemistry.

Let me know how your dating goes – and I’m happy to read your profiles, just send ’em to me! And if you need some inspiration to take a chance on love – watch this video below (try not to cry!):

[SPONSORED POST FOR MATCH.COM]

match

I’ll Be in Paris in 86 Days

In the middle of a rather slow workday a few months ago, I suddenly got this insane inclination that I absolutely could not itch:

need to go to Europe in 2014.

One of my only regrets from college is not taking the advantage to study abroad. I was in one hell of a hurry to get that sparkling journalism degree, complete every internship I could and take the first one-way flight I could to New York. And though it all did work out, I used every last penny (earned and found) on moving to this brilliant city and building my life here. Nearly four years later, I still love the zip code I call home but I’ve managed to save enough money to see what else is out there.

And so, after a very obsessive crunching of numbers and a few weeks of watching the prices rise and fall on flights, I booked it. I had every intention of going to Paris and Rome by myself, exploring the ancient streets, sipping wine and gorging myself with stinky, incredible cheeses but my mom had another idea:

She wanted to join me.

While it feels like a big deal for me to travel across the Atlantic for the very first time, it’s even more exciting for my 50-something mother whose always wanted to see this big ole’ world.

But before I can catch that red eye out of JFK and wake up in Paris (ahh!!) there are a few things I want to improve:

Back to the Veggies
I was so excited that I finished my first half-marathon in October that I completely stopped training and started to eat whatever I wanted to celebrate… for like three months. Whoops. My friend M and I are doing the Women’s Health Six-Week Weight Loss Plan together starting today, along with a 4M in February and a 15K in March. And my friend N (and Mrs Healthy Ever After blogger) is helping me to make smarter choices with eating. If I’m going to overdo the carbs in Paris and Rome (and rightfully so), I want to slim a bit before I arrive.

Ciao Bella, Finally!
Way back at the start of 2011 (yes, 2011!), I wrote a blog about wanting to learn Italian. I have no real reason for my love of the language but it’s engrained in me. I love going to Little Italy – as cheesy and overpriced as it is – and just hearing families bicker and chat. I walk through Eataly every time I drop Lucy off at her groomer’s that’s close by, imagining I can afford a $75 bottle of imported truffle oil. So, I’m taking the plunge: I signed up for Italian lessons that start January 30. I’m nervous but so very excited. (And if you’re wondering, mom is buying French tapes to listen to so we know how to at least order wine in Paris… vine rouge, right?)

Save Just a Bit More
I’m actually rather good at saving money, it’s something I learned from my dad who made me put 10% of my babysitting money in a personal savings account since I was 10 (much to my annoyance). But there are ways that I’m incredibly frivolous: buying lunch, taking cabs when I don’t actually need them but my feet hurt (or it’s negative 10 degree outside, thank you very much, New York), my grande skinny vanilla cappuccino every morning at $4.84 a pop (but they taste.so.good)… I’d rather spend money experiencing Europe than maintaining bad spending habits.

Cuddling Lucy
I’m going to be away from my baby pup (who is almost two!) for 10 whole days. It’s the longest we will be apart since I adopted her from that West Village pet store and I’m might freak out. Just a little bit.

I’m not sure what Paris and Rome have in store for me – but I’m proud of myself for following my instincts. If your heart says grab a bag and go get a baguette and sit in front of the Eiffel Tower… you listen. 

This Valentine’s Day, write a self-love letter to yourself and it’ll be published (anonymous or not) on Confessions of a Love Addict! And you enter yourself to win a prize! Learn more here. Submit here

14 Things I’m Giving Up in 2014

The past week has been unusually warm in Manhattan. The air feels crisp and inviting, the atmosphere of the streets lively and fresh, and the people – myself included – invigorated for a New Year. I always make resolutions and oddly enough, I do actually keep them. There’s something about January 1 that makes me feel like I get a second chance (or a 26th one…) to improve bad habits or start great ones.

In 2012, I spent a lot of time holding back and not compromising. If my friends wanted to go out, I almost always selfishly insisted on the west side so I’d have an easier commute. If I was asked out on a date by a potentially wonderful man – but he suggested the Lower East Side on a Tuesday – I would have politely declined. But in 2013, I made a vow to say “yes” more – and that’s exactly what I did:

I said “yes” to Mexico in April. I said “yes” to late nights and early mornings. Yes to training for (and completing!) a half-marathon. Yes to kissing a nameless man on the corner of West 4th at 2 a.m. Yes to walking all the way across the park with Lucy in tow to the east side to visit friends. Yes to going all the way to Brooklyn for brunch — and thoroughly enjoying myself. Yes to trips to North Carolina three times, yes to new foods and new drinks, new clothes I normally wouldn’t wear, yes, yes, yes!

But in 2013, I also said “yes” to a lot of negativity.

And even more fear. I said “yes” to those really terrible thoughts that made me feel like everything that could possibly go wrong, did. I said “yes” at the expense of myself, sometimes sacrificing what I really wanted to make someone – anyone – happy. I said “yes” to thinking the absolute worst in every situation, every person, every date that left a bad taste in my mind. I did learn how to take those chances and change my attitude, but in ways that made me stronger.. and weaker, too.

What I want the most out of 2014 is to be happy. And so many things can contribute to happiness: health, friends, career, love, travel, new experiences. I don’t want to limit myself or put pressure on a timeline, but I do want to live better. I want to live with the same kind of passion, that same drive and hopefulness that made me who I am and made me a success in New York. I miss that beat in my step, that faith in my heart, that smart, sharp, kind, enthusiastic spirit that made me feel unstoppable.

And to get that firecracker Tigar back, I need to let go of some very small and very big things that are holding me back or keeping me down. These aren’t quite resolutions – just a little guide to help me along the new journey of 2014. Because really, with some of these out-of-the-way, my resolution to be happy again, might just be a reality.

In no particular order, here are 14 things I’m giving up in 2014:

1- Duck Face
Guilty as charged: if you stalk my Instagram, you’ll see so many duck face examples, it’s quite embarrassing. Sure, it can be cute. If you’re, like, 15, not, ya know, 25.

2- Investing in People Who Don’t Invest in Me
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as an adult is that friendships change. We all expect relationships to be difficult, life-changing experiences, but friendships are that way too. Even if you’ve been friends for years or just a short period of time, if someone isn’t making your life better by being in it, then get them out. People who are worth your time, will make time to invest in you.

3- Biting My Tongue
Maybe it’s my recently damped self-confidence or just the anxiety of saying the wrong thing, but in my life and in my career, I’ve had a tendency to not say what I really think. But this year, it’s time to lean in. I can’t move up – or move forward – by being silent.

4- Hitting Snooze
I desperately want to be a morning runner but snuggling in bed with Lucy is so much nicer than a 6:30 a.m. wake up call. But think of all the time I’d have to do things post-work if I got that 3-5 miler finished before my morning coffee!

5- Having Another Drink When I Don’t Want One
Sure, Saturday nights are great for having a bit too much. But a random Wednesday? With a guy I know I will never, ever want to go out with again? Forget saving feelings or following the crowd, my liver demands better. And I’d rather have less of those paralyzing hangovers post-25.

6- Judging People For Their Choices
I try my very best to be understanding and considerate, but it’s human nature to raise an eyebrow when a friend (or even a stranger) does something that isn’t quite the route you’d take in the same situation. You can’t change people, you can only be honest and caring, and thus, changing yourself. We’re each climbing our own hill and we’ll all get to the top in our own way.

7- Forgetting to Dream
I put in the hard work to get to New York and once I landed in my little apartment with my big NBC job and my big, popular blog, I sat down. It’s time to get up. I’m not finished yet – I’m merely getting started.

8- Buying Lunch Every Day
I work in Chelsea Market. For New Yorkers, I need not say more. For everyone else: imagine every delicious, decadent, expensive food you could ever imagine – from lobster to truffle tacos – a few steps away from you every. single. day. I could save so much more money (and travel so much more often) if I could plan ahead better.

9- Keeping Up My Routine
I’m a Virgo, and I love, love, love plans. I’m often the person sending out a group e-mail, trying to get my friends on-board to a new idea. But I go back to the same restaurants. I do basically the same thing every weekend. Not anymore though: I already signed up for Italian lessons and philosophy (yes, philosophy!) lessons. Time to switch it up.

10- Using the Word “Should”
It’s a dangerous word, that one. And it creeps it’s way into every worry I have: I should make more money. I should be thinner. I should have a boyfriend by now. I should live alone at this point in my life. I should save this extra $100. I should be more responsible. The only should I’ll say this year is: I should be me, exactly how I am today.

11- Getting Angry Over Things I Can’t Control
Like a long line at Starbucks. Or train delays. Or friends bailing at the last second. Or a guy with an attitude problem. Or people who don’t agree with me. Or the fact I’ll never be a size two (this girl has hips for miles). If I can find peace in every moment, I can find peace in every outcome.

12- Mentioning the Mr’s + Relying On Tinder
I’ve wasted far too much space (in my heart and on this blog) on the Mr’s I used to love. It’s time to let go of what was so I can find what will be. The archives will always be there. On the other hand, I can’t just rely on a dating app that’s basically “hot or not” to provide me with quality dating material. Bye, bye iTunes Store dating. Hello, just getting out of the apartment and into life.

13- Focusing on What’s Hard Instead of What’s Good
If everything was smooth sailing and easy, then would I appreciate the life I’ve built? If I never had to say good-bye to a friend because they moved on their own or because they were forced? If I never had my heart-broken or my dreams crushed? If I never cried out of frustration or desperation? If I never heard really bad, scary news? Life will always have it’s hard parts, but it’s never without goodness. I just have to breathe enough to feel it.

14- Being Afraid To Do It Alone
My friends won’t always want to volunteer at the soup kitchen with me. Or go to that new pub around the corner. Or sign up for a pizza making class or join a running group. But instead of dwelling in the fear of going alone, I choose to dwell in the possibility that something really amazing can come from taking a leap of faith. After all, that’s what I used to do every single day before I developed my life here.

Surely, I can do it again. Surely, I can do it with even more courage. Surely, I can open my heart to the New Year, and the new me, that’s waiting in 2014.