This is What Happens When You Ask Out 10 Men on Tinder… In One Night

tinderLast week, I decided to do what many dudes do on Tinder: get straight to the point. Now—not every guy I’m matched with goes in straight for the date, some like to be chatty. But most exchange a few niceties before asking for my number and seeing when they can buy me a glass of Pinot Noir. (Saturday, at 8 p.m., in the East Village, if any tall, successful, kind-hearted man is available out there. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anyone. Bueller?)

My friends and I are sort of the opposite: We ask about where he’s from, where he lives in the city, what he does for a living, how long he’s lived here, what his social security number is… (Joking.) But really, even as a confident, outgoing gal, I almost always wait for a guy to make the first move.

Yes, even on Tinder.

This post was originally published on Women’s Health. To read the rest, click here

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7 thoughts on “This is What Happens When You Ask Out 10 Men on Tinder… In One Night

  1. THAT was really useful. I write too much, or get in too long of talking back and forth by phone. Bad habit from being in the Peace Corps years ago with no telephone, and planning takes weeks to meet someone. And old school conversations, as if continuing is a done deal, also a waste of time.

    Just write, “I like your profile, let’s meet.” Don’t get caught up in long dialogues when there may be no personal chemistry. Nothing else matters in the beginning, and it may be over before it starts. Meet, see if you are excited, more drinks ? some dancing ? Go PDA, and try for a hookup. Can always talk afterwards as the sheets dry, or escape as fast as you can.

  2. Lindsey, this post comes fairly close on the heels of the one where you bemoan the lack of thought and effort guys put into texting/emailing etc. Is your new position becoming “If you can’t beat them, join them?”

    And I would never make a date and then cancel…unless there was a death. I may be late if my vehicle breaks down, or because of stopping to rescue a cat from a tree, but in this day and age communicating that fact would be quick and easy. And I would still show up.

    So one COULD be confused as to why a guy would make a date and then abruptly cancel. As a guy who knows how many guys operate my educated guess would be that they found what they believe to be a “sure thing” for sex while you are just a potential “maybe”. So they ditch you.

    As a guy, I never got on the ‘hit it and quit it” band wagon. I felt the entire concept was crude and egotistical with a HUGE helping of contempt for females.

    Placing a value on an individual based on their “lust able” factor diminishes all humanity.

    And even when I was very young I was cognizant enough to observe that those males who DID value women like pieces of meat on display were shallow, lacking depth. And not ONLY narrow…but also superficial. Selfish. Self-centered. Self-obsessed. Self Serving.

    And I think many would agree we could use a lot less of that in this world.

    Now just because more females are adopting the mindset this does not “sanitize” the practice in any fashion. They used to worry about being called a nasty four letter word starting with the letter “S”, but the REAL “S” words people should avoid are the aforementioned shallow, superficial, selfish, self-obsessed, self-serving and self-centered. Do people actually think those attitudes will automatically stop once they find a “real” relationship?

    These are the qualities of character being aspired to and cultivated. And they will stay with anyone who nurtures them and will be very difficult to relinquish.

    It is good to cease to diminish individual value. A woman is not just vagina butt and breasts.

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