Recently, I had a phone reading with an angel intuitive who reads the energy of your angels. I’ve been to psychics before – and of course, my mom is an astrologer – but there was something refreshing about talking to angels, as opposed to spirits – it seemed like it might be more… real.
And it was.
Five minutes into my reading with Chris Alexandria, I was holding my breath to choke down the tears. It wasn’t so much that she predicted incredible, amazing things, but rather, that she illustrated exactly how I’m feeling. And perhaps, more importantly, what I’ve been struggling with a lot lately.
It comes as no surprise to anyone who knows me (or reads this little blog that’s been my safe place for so many years) – but I’ve been worried about not finding love my entire life. If I look back on my journals from middle school and my blogs for high school, the thread was always the same: what if he doesn’t exist? Continue reading
I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of dating coaches. I’m actually friends with a few of them (it’s a small dating and love world, y’all) – and I love learning how they coach people to find love. Since I consider myself to be a pretty active, able and positive single gal, I never thought I needed the professional services of someone to teach me how to date…but I was curious about their expert advice on playing (and eventually getting off) the field.
So I decided to turn the tables and have a few love & relationship coaches interview ME instead of the other way around. These folks asked really tough questions about who I am, what I want and what type of guys I date and gave me tough love advice that maybe – just maybe – will land me a boyfriend.
Here’s what six dating coaches think I’m doing wrong in love:
1. I’m being too aggressive.
Excuse me for the cliché here, but I’m allowed one Sex & the City reference, right? Remember that time Charlotte had back-to-back dates planned and it all blew up in her face? Well, that kind of happened to me accidentally a few weeks ago—but it wasn’t a fiasco; it was kind of awesome.
I made plans on a Saturday night (something I normally don’t do, but hey, I was free, and he was cute) to meet up with Casey. He was new to the city from Toronto, and via texting, he seemed normal and rather charming. He left it up to me to choose a place, which I usually prefer not to do. But because he was a NYC newbie, I gave him a break. Until of course, he texted me 10 minutes before our date to say he was just now getting in a cab and would be late.
On my 24th birthday, still hungover from the night before, I stumbled into my favorite pet store downtown and bought a dog. I was a bit heartbroken from my last relationship (yetstill sleeping with him) and I saw a cute clearance puppy in the corner. They say when you meet the right person, you just know (I wouldn’t, since I haven’t), but when I held Lucy for the first time, she fell asleep in my arms and something in me said: buy the d*mn dog.
A few hours later, Lucy and I were sitting on my bedroom floor surrounded by hundreds of dollars worth of dog toys, training pads, a dog bed, treats and food, staring at each other, wondering: Now what?
Last week, I decided to do what many dudes do on Tinder: get straight to the point. Now—not every guy I’m matched with goes in straight for the date, some like to be chatty. But most exchange a few niceties before asking for my number and seeing when they can buy me a glass of Pinot Noir. (Saturday, at 8 p.m., in the East Village, if any tall, successful, kind-hearted man is available out there. Somewhere. Anywhere. Anyone. Bueller?)
When I started this blog, I made a vow to myself and to all of you that I wouldn’t use this place to manbash. Even with all of the terrible dates, disappointing break-ups and everything in between, I’ve never revealed an identity of the men I’ve dated or said things that weren’t true.
Well weren’t incredibly exaggerated, I should say.
I never wanted this space to be about the dudes – but about the girls and what it’s like to be a 20-something single gal dating, learning and growing in a big city. So while this post isn’t exactly man bashing… it’s a little more hater-y then my other blogs I’ve written.
I’m sorry I’m not sorry for posting this – but c’mon men.
The first rule of online dating is to keep your boobs off the internet. The second rule is to never, ever (EVER!) text too much before meeting your match in real life. And maybe don’t commit to dinner with someone you’ve never met offline, either. I learned the latter two lessons after going on what I consider one of the very worst dates in my life (the guy who cried was a bad one too. And the one that blatantly asked if I shaved my you-know-what 20 minutes into drinks—but more on those real winners later).
I connected with Jordan on OkCupid—and his first message to me was uncharacteristically charming. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it was enough for me to click on his profile and go through the mental checklist I always use to determine if I want to respond or not: