Are you single? Cool, welcome to the club (I’m three years and goin’ strong!). Like me, you probably straddle the line between hating your single status and not minding it. You probably also have those moments where you think: What is wrong with me?
Afterall, I’m a pretty great catch. I have a career I’ve worked 11 years to create, I’m in good shape, I’m educated, I’m well-traveled, I have a loving, thoughtful heart, I can hold my own in a conversation and at times, I’m wittier than I give myself credit for and I’m rather confident in my bedroom abilities.
And yet, YET, I’m still single. I’m still sitting in a New York cafe, writing this piece, wishing and hoping that some wonderful man will burst through the doors and profess his love for me.
I’m no dating expert – or else, DUH, I would have figured out why I’m still single already – but in the past few months, through conversations with my friends and yes, actual dating experts, I think I’ve finally figured out why I’m flying solo:
I keep saying that men suck…
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loveaddictnyc.com 
In general they don’t suck, just the idiots I’ve had the displeasure in dealing with suck.
Try being single at 50 years old. For the past 2 1/2 years, I have dealt with 10 creeps (and didn’t even get to the date part!). Before things got any further, two were married, one had a part-time stripper girlfriend, one was in an open relationship and six took my phone number and never called me. As you say, loveaddict, friends and family have said I’m a great person, loving, thoughtful, look young for my age, etc… I too have had a great displeasure in dealing with suck. I was in a relationship for 10 years, engaged for the last 3 and woke up and realized that I was miserable. Dating now is much different than dating 10 – 15 years ago, and also different depending on your age. Men my age are either happily married, miserably married or starting retirement on a beautiful deserted island. You think single at 30 is hard?
Have to say I’ve gone through similar. Though I am not even close to 30, I wish I was again! Being in my early 40’s is just as tough.
Linds:
I am a guy. Too many men DO suck for way too long. They sink and sync to the lowest common denominator. Same as in a mob.
So a good man has a difficult time getting along with other men. Dads do ok together, rise above. At least if they have daughters.
Bullies want to stay bullies. Jocks to stay jocks. If socially clueless, people prefer to mock you than help you.
From archery, two guys talk, rapid fire, nothing but sports. Another his dating conquests.
Get the sports nut Dad alone with me, another Dad, he opened up to me about parenting problems.
So a lot of good men are taken. But many more want a good woman to help them become a better man. Or just need one.
How to spot one ? Good question.
Get a guy talking about his friends , brothers, father. Did/does he like them ? are they cool ? Does he want to be like them ? Why ? If a guy is a loner, maybe ge does not know any non-jerk guys. Better off alone than “I’m with Stupid.” And be stupid so the dumb guy will like him.
The loudest guy in a group may be the biggest jerk. You don’t for sure what the others are like if that guy won’t shut the f— up. Isolate. Investigate. Reject one by one.
Drinking habits do NOT make a good man.