4 Things You Should Never (Ever) Talk About On a First Date

This was originally published on eHarmony’s blog.

If you’ve been single for a while, you’re probably used to the first date dance by now: he asks where you’re from originally, you ask about his job. He asks if you prefer red or white wine, you ask about his hobbies. It usually feels like the same ole’ conversation just with a different person, unless you stumble across a truly magical (and rare!) amazing date.

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Are We All Just Scared Shitless of Love?

Over cocktails and appetizers with a friend of mine recently, she caught me up on her current dating life. She’s been seeing a dude for about six months, they go on dates (and sleep over) a few times a week, he’s introduced her to all of his friends, they’ve discussed going on vacation together early next year and she feels like she’s (maybe, kinda, definitely) falling in love with him

So, he’s your boyfriend then?! I asked, excitedly. That’s great!! You’ve been single for a while now! 

Oh, no, we’re not like, official, official, she said, taking a quite large sip of wine. We’re seeing each other. And I think we’re only sleeping with one another. 

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You Can’t Force Magic

This time last year, I was having a minor panic attack in the bathroom of a lounge in Flat Iron.

I was a little tipsy and my friend J was trying to calm me down, but there was no getting around my anxiety.

Do you see what I have to put up with out there? Dating SUCKS. It’s seriously the WORST. I tell you J, if I’m single this time next year, I will leave New York. I will go somewhere where it’s better and the guys are better. Seriously, it can’t be THIS bad everywhere.

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How I Became Best Friends with My (Then)-Boyfriend’s Ex

dater-diary-embed-my-ex-is-my-bffA month after I started my blog in 2010, I took the bus from JFK into the city. As I got on the bus in my Jessica Simpson slingbacks (ridiculous, I know), the driver took zero pity on me and took off. I went crashing with my bag and my floppy hat right into the aisle. I looked up and locked eyes with a blue-eyed hunk who simply asked, “You alright?” before helping me to my feet.

I didn’t know it then, but that was the day I met my very first New York love, Scott.

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Ask the Addict: Why Going to a Wedding Alone is Awesome

This post is part of the Ask the Addict advice column. Learn more about submitting your (anonymous!) question here

QUESTION:

My older cousin is getting married and invited me with a plus one. The thing is, I’m single so there’s no significant other to bring. I was thinking of bringing a girlfriend along but after thinking a while, I really feel like going without a date… would that be weird though? Is it fun to go alone to a wedding?

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The One Thing I WON’T Settle for in Love

dater-diary-wont-settleRight before I started writing this column, I broke up with Patrick. Doesn’t seem like a big deal (and in the scheme of things, it’s not; it wasn’t) but Patrick was the first guy in almost three years that I really (really) liked.

Or at least, I thought I did. In fact, I thought he could be a significant someone in my life, especially after our nearly 24-hour first date seemed to be a sign that there were really good things to come with this tall, handsome, stock-trading Greek. But like most plot lines in my dating life, I had to wear my rose-colored glasses long enough to get blinded, and finally see the truth.

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