The Year I Learned How to Live

It’s usually in a split-second right before I leave for the day. It’s when I’m reaching down to grab my keys that sit in a tiny basket next to my door, when I smooth over my jacket and toss my hair a final time before the wind takes over. It’s when I press my lips together and lean into the mirror to make sure every asset is colored or highlighted, covered or shiny. It’s when I take a moment to really look at myself and admire…

…my own beauty.

There seems to be a fine line between arrogance and confidence and it’s one that I dare to teeter between constantly. I wouldn’t say my looks are remarkable but I’ve been conscious to remind myself that I’m beautiful. Many women – especially in New York – are completely put together: clear skin, long tanned legs, large pouty lips, bright eyes and teeth aligned by perfection. But I’ve often found the people who seem the most attractive to me are the ones that radiate beauty because they’re good people. Even so – I still tend to work on my outer almost as much as I try to maintain my inner.

In a city where pressures are plenty, it’s easy for any woman to lose sight of herself. It’s easy to let things go or let busy schedules conflict with the things that bring us the most joy. Sometimes pampering and relaxing fall low on priority list, and spending money on things that seem rather frivolous in the long run. Remembering how important it is to keep that same frame of mind circulating day-to-day throughout the day that I feel in the mornings. Before the grime and the stress has a chance to take its toll on me.

And since I’ve spent the majority of the last years focusing on advancing myself or getting to where I wanted to be, and I’ve finally achieved the success I wanted so badly – I think it’s time to enjoy myself. To really indulge in the life I’ve created. To be thankful of where I’ve landed, of the luck I’ve been given and the people I’ve been blessed to find. To take some more liberties that are just for me. To be smart about my money but also spend it because I have it – and even be a little selfish with it because I’m at a point in my life where I can be.  To make the things I see everyday more beautiful and more like places or things that other people would want to see.

So what am I doing? I’m buying fancy lingerie. I’m redecorating my room. I’m running like I used to. I’m buying the organic fruits and veggies because my body appreciates it when I do. I’m drinking more water – with lime or cucumber. I’m flying my mom up to see my city. I’m calling my dad more. I’m making more of an effort to travel. I’m letting myself do the things I want to do without worrying about what it’ll mean in five years. I’m going to let myself be free. I’m learning Spanish and going to Spain. I’m investing in dermatology treatment so my skin leaves adolescence. I’m going to feel gorgeous walking in a bikini along the beach this summer. I’m going to take my vitamins, like my mom says. I’m going to get regular facials and massages because I work hard and deserve it. I’m going to actually learn how to meditate.

I’m going to surround myself with beauty and believe in the beauty inside of me. And not because I want to attract a man or because I want to measure up to some ideal, but because I’ve been strong and determined to get to where I am and it’s time to savor the splendor.

It’s time I learned how to live and here’s how I’m doing it. Join me?

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8 thoughts on “The Year I Learned How to Live

  1. You’re completely right its so important to have confidence and to work on the inner as well as outer you. I think looks are easy to neglect when people have busy schedules but I think now is the best time to focus on you.
    I think its important to not neglect oneself and pamper yourself once in a while because you’ve earned it. There’s nothing wrong with that and I plan on doing the same!

    Happy New Year!

  2. Two words: Hellz yes.

    I neglect myself too much too. I was thinking about it last night actually about how I love biking for 16+ miles and just relaxing that way while getting in a good workout. Trying to treat me right this year too. Enjoy the moment and don’t worry so much! :-)

  3. I just want to get rid of fear, period. It births so much worry and anxiety, and I can’t seem to shake myself of it. I’ve felt anxious about the new year for a few days, and I’m trying to tell myself there’s nothing to worry about. My schedule is only going to be hectic until I graduate in May, but it’s that start to 2012 that’s left me feeling…cumbersome. Hopefully it will get better. The one thing I have to hold on to is that my days are what I make of them, and as long as I can keep my head up and approach every day with hopefulness and trust that God is looking out for me, then I don’t really have anything to worry about.

  4. Thank you for sharing this… As a single woman (ESP in the 30’s) it is hard to remember that you ~can~ take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments, and indulge in the bounty of available joys we can take pleasure in, while trying to survive, every day. Inspiring! I will join you.

  5. Pingback: Someone Like Me « Confessions of a Love Addict

  6. Pingback: Learning To Say Yes « Confessions of a Love Addict

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