Falling in Love on Fridays: The Love I Want in Me

I was sent this blog from a 31-year-old woman who after years of being in relationships, finally found her peace being single. I’m excited to share Heather’s story – and though she says it’s an “unconventional” post for this column, I think it’s just the opposite. Falling in Love on Fridays is about all sorts of love — career, cities, men, friendships, families, travel — and of course, the most important love of all: the love we find within ourselves. It’s the hardest one to accept but the one that ultimately, brings the most happiness. Read her post below and learn more about Falling in Love on Fridays and how to submit your own here.

This is an unconventional post for “Falling in Love Fridays”.

I spent the majority of my 20’s in relationships. I earned my degree, got a great job, bought a condo and thought. Now what? I should probably find a boyfriend and start considering marriage and kids. It seemed like a great, linear and totally achievable plan.What I wasn’t aware of at the time was the consideration of alternatives. That was what everyone did right? I didn’t question if it was right for me, or if I was ready. I pursued coupledom with the same dogged approach as I did to school and work. Like most things put my mind to, I found a degree of success. Whenever, things got complicated, I would just put in more effort.

I spent a large amount of my time thinking about dating, analyzing  dating situations, debating whether or not the guy I was with really liked me and whether or not I would marry him.

When I turned 28, something changed. I had had a series of serious relationships, contemplated marriage and somehow ended up on the either side, single, debating a career change and full on into a quarter life crisis.

I finally asked myself, what I consider to be the “game changing question”. When I look back on my life, what will I wish I had more of? I set about trying to create and earn more of those moments. Time doing things I love and spending time with family and friends was at the top of the list. Frustrating dating/romantic situations were not. I made a wild list of things that I wanted to accomplish.

The more I followed my hearts desire the more joy I felt.

When I turned 30, the question appeared. What if I am single forever?  Will that be okay?

The answer changes day to day, but surprisingly, I am okay with being single, more often than not. I never thought that would happen. By this point, I had launched my own business, gone back to school to do a Master’s degree, adopted a dog, competed in a figure competition, become a volunteer counsellor, made new friends and travelled a bit.

Do I wish I had someone “special” in my life. Sometimes. However what I have found is that I am a lot more special and fun, than I originally thought and as cheesy as it sounds I have developed a much stronger relationship with myself.

This cartoon, is basically the opposite of the way that I now think, rather than searching, I am finding the love that I want in me.

This Valentine’s Day, write a self-love letter to yourself and it’ll be published (anonymous or not) on Confessions of a Love Addict! And you enter yourself to win a prize! Learn more here. Submit here
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One thought on “Falling in Love on Fridays: The Love I Want in Me

  1. 2nd dates are tough to come by.

    But I am in two volleyball groups, without set teams. I am nowhere near the best player on the court, but I stay focused, never take my off the ball, and make as many good plays as I can. Its great fun to always have people look forward to having me play with them. Now, if I could just get some older women playing.

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