Am I Becoming Cold?

A few days ago I was asked out on a date.

While out to dinner at one of my favorite NYC restaurants, my friend, S, and I were hit on by an adjacent table of 10 guys celebrating…who knows what? Saki bombs and sushi rolls were plenty, and so was the level of annoyance. However, there was one guy, who I’ll call Mr. Sushi, who was a little different and stood out from the pack of immature “men.”

Mr. Sushi is nearly 30 (which is fine by me), tall, and has a good career. He just returned from a three-month trek around the world to discover countries, places, and people he has always wanted to see. He lives in the Upper West Side, originally from New Jersey, and we both share a love for this tiny little diner near Columbia (his alma mater).

Once he asked for my number, I told him, “Now, you better wait the allotted three days to use it, ok?” He laughed at my attempt at a joke and promised he’d put my digits to use. As my friend and I stood up to leave, he stood up too, to hug me. As we embraced, his friends started chanting “Kiss her! Kiss her!” A little tipsy from the evening’s spirits, I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what they were talking about, and Mr. Sushi couldn’t either –until we looked at each other and it clicked.

Then, the hole-in-the-wall restaurant caught on and every table joined in saying “Kiss her! Kiss her!” Mr. Sushi leaned down to my ear and said “We have to or we’ll disappoint everyone…and never get to come back here.” I agreed, and there in the middle of everyone, he dipped me and kissed me. Yes, there was a little tongue.

The next morning, I realized how little it bothered me. I told my mom about the exchange, she got excited (mainly because he’s a Taurus) and she asked me about it the following day, when he had yet to text. I thought the kissing-in-the-middle-of-the-restaurant was a cute story, but I wasn’t a nervous nelly because he didn’t contact me.

And once he did, three days later (of course), I was surprised to hear from him (mainly because I kind of forgot). He asked me out the following night, but I already had plans, and unlike the former me, I didn’t break them just to go on a date. I gave him my availability and he worked around my schedule. After the exchange, I left it alone, and it didn’t consume my thoughts.

Progress? I’m not getting my hopes up –which is good (right?). Or was I just not that into him? And is it bad if I don’t get my hopes up period anymore?

I’m praying this process doesn’t take away my lavish optimism and admiration for love. I still want to desire falling in love and having that once-in-a-lifetime romance, but I don’t want it to overpower my thoughts and my confidence. I want to be completely content and in love with myself, but I still want to get excited about possibility with someone else.

Is there a happy medium? Or does being un-addicted to love mean you lose that hopeful whimsical nature? Can I be okay with not being in love or having a relationship and still get those incomparable butterflies-in-your-tummy feeling?

Should I be getting excited about this date or is it bad that it doesn’t faze me at all? Am I becoming cold? Or is it just the weather?

6 thoughts on “Am I Becoming Cold?

  1. I don’t think you’re becoming cold at all. Quite opposite, in my opinion. I think the difference between then and now, with new prospects, is that you are warming up to yourself, and not just new men (does that make sense?). I think this is a new and exciting phase of your life, where you are more so “going with the flow”. You aren’t upset about the date, but you aren’t letting it obsess your thoughts either. I think the other thing may be, that you are very focused on yourself right now. It’s a good thing!

  2. I do not think this makes you cold at all. Just see how you feel after the date…be excited about. Just because you are on a journey to love yourself and loss your obsession with love doesnt mean it is wrong to feel excited about going out with a guy. You are making it to a great point. You get to enjoy being persued but not letting it consume you. You finally know it doesnt define you. Whether it works with this guy or not doesnt define you! And you finally know that. It is okay to guard your heart alittle in the beginning!

  3. I do not think you are becoming cold either! Once a girl has tons of bad luck with relationships and dating she becomes certain of who she is through self discovery and will not change who she is for a guy (meaning being available whenever HE wants to see you, waiting by the phone or computer for a message or call) Once you finally become the woman God made you to be, that is when he will send you Mr. Right or Mr. Sushi :)

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