Are you single? Cool, welcome to the club (I’m three years and goin’ strong!). Like me, you probably straddle the line between hating your single status and not minding it. You probably also have those moments where you think: What is wrong with me?
The Most Important Thing to Remember in Dating
This post was originally published on eHarmony’s blog.
My ex and I broke up in September of 2011 – it was one of those dramatic, romantic comedy-esque kind of scenes: I asked for more, he couldn’t give it, he offered a half-hearted plea for me to stay and I grabbed the next cab I saw uptown to my apartment, while it rained (of course) and I cried the whole way home.
In the months that turned into years after that I’ve been dating in New York – one of those cities with a bad reputation for being more about career than love – I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons. Like – if a guy says he’s 5’11 in his online dating profile, he’s likely around 5’8”. Or when a guy says he’s not looking for a relationship, he’s not, no matter how easygoing, beautiful, sexy or sassy you might be. And that there are more than enough men who are willing to wine and dine you, but not too many that actually want to talk to you and listen. I think that’s why love is so valuable when we do eventually stumble across it, the work to get there feels really, really hard.
My First Week of Whole30, as Told in GIFS
My roommate and I both wanted to make a big difference in our health and lifestyle this year, so we challenged ourselves to do Whole30 – a program that cuts out sugar, booze (which duh is sugar), carbs (except in veggies), legumes (aka, beans) and dairy. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy thing to do, but after a year of overindulging in just about anything I laid my eyes on, I was ready to shed some weight and feel vibrant again.
We’re officially a week in (today is day 9 to be exact) and I do feel really, really awesome. I have so much energy, I sleep better, my skin is clearer and I actually crave carrots and green beans as a snack. (Yeah, I know, it’s weird!).
Even so, this week hasn’t been simple – and I’m sure the three weeks that I have left won’t be either – but I’m excited to see how much of a difference it will make to curve my cravings and shape my lifestyle. Though I haven’t weighed myself or measured (they advise not to until the end) – I already can tell a difference in the way my clothes fit.
If you’re thinking of making a shift in your diet or exercise habits… here’s how my first week of Whole30 has been… in GIFs:
Woohoo! Grocery shopping for healthy things. Look at all these pretty veggies. I’m SO excited.
Holy moly. I can’t believe that’s how much I weigh. I’ve never been more ready for a cleanse…
My Word of the Year for 2015 Is… (Hint: It’s Not ‘Love’)
Last year, I decided I wasn’t going to make resolutions anymore. Not because I don’t believe in making positive changes or giving up vices, but because it’s really hard to live by a set of rules – in life, in dating, in anything. So my mom made a great suggestion: just pick a word.
So, last year, I picked: ‘yes.’
And wow – did I wear that word out! In any situation where I would normally turn my head or turn something down, I decided to jump in. I had one more drink. I went on another trip. I booked another fitness class. I ran another half-marathon. I moved apartments and doubled my rent. I changed jobs so I could be at a company that I truly believed in. I bought that Kate Spade wallet (cough, on sale) that I really, really wanted. I wrote things from my heart that I usually wouldn’t have admitted. I gained weight because I overindulged in mostly anything. More than any of the other years – probably combined – I truly, 100 percent lived.
2014 was really the year I went for it – and in 2015, I’m going to learn to be excited about everything I’ve found, created, mastered, tried and loved the past few years. Generally speaking, I’m a pretty positive person, but just like anyone else, I can get in some really, really bad downward-spiraling-out-of-control ruts where I feel like nothing will ever work out how I so badly want it to. And maybe because of my wild sense of ambition… I’m never really satisfied with where I am.
But I want to be content with today. Right now. This moment. This half-hour that I sit here with coffee, listening to jazz and writing this blog. I want to find peace in the present and … thrilled with all of the things that I’m thankful for.
From friendships and my health to dating and my career, here are the ways I’m going to make ‘happy’ my word of the year for 2015:
A happy body.
As hard as is it is to type this (and thus, making it real to me): I’ve gained nearly 15 pounds in a year. I suppose I’m lucky in the fact that it usually doesn’t show (too much) on me, but I can tell in my clothes. And my face. And in how I feel when I’m standing naked in front of the mirror. I’ve been putting off changing my diet and limiting those late-nights out for fear that it would be impossible to go on dates or be social with my friends, but I made the decision to change my lifestyle for myself. Until I feel healthy and happy about the way I look and feel, I won’t be able to exude confidence like I used to. I’m training for my third half-marathon in April, and I started the Whole30 Food Challenge yesterday, and I’m signed up for 6+ fitness classes this week – wish me luck!
Write a Love Letter… To Yourself!
One of my favorite things to ever come from Confessions of a Love Addict is the annual self-love letter writing campaign. Over the past four years, you’ve written more than 200 letters of confidence, kindness, beauty, passion and strength… to yourself.
When you’re single – or when you’re in a relationship – it’s sometimes difficult to take a step back and truly appreciate all of the incredible things that make you… you. From the way you walk and talk to how you treat your best friends and the special gifts that only you have – there are so many things that make you one-of-a-kind.
I’m happy to introduce the 5th annual (wow!) Self-Love Letters on Confessions of a Love Addict.
Here’s how to participate:
1- Fill out this form. Remember – you can be totally anonymous! Or if you’re a blogger, I’m happy to link back to your blog. And you’re welcome to send along a photo, drawing, graphic – anything -that you’d like to go along with your letter.
The deadline to submit is Monday, February 9th.
2- If you need inspiration, check out 2011‘s, 2012‘s, 2013‘s and 2014‘s letters.
3- Check back on the blog on Valentine’s Day to see your letter. If you feel like, share it with those you love!
4- Check back on February 15th to see if you won the fun prize!
5- Love yourself. Love everything.
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