You’ve been there: after a not-so-great date, you’re venting to one of your coupled-up friends, expressing your frustration and practically begging for an answer to when your luck in love will turn around. After some calm words of reassurance and promises of a happily-ever-after that’s frankly a little difficult for you to imagine, you snap at your pal for being so positive when dating is anything but that.
For most of us, that friend who has managed to find love will almost always say: “You know, it’s a lot about timing and a little luck.”
If you’re anything like me, those words both inspire and discourage you, right? Especially when you have so much control over other things in your life – career, finances, travel – and so little control of when this infamous soulmate will make his or her appearance in your life.
But, in the spirit of the Irish and in honor of the cheeky St. Patrick himself, there are ways to bring more luck into your love life. Even if it’s just a change of mindset, it’s enough to get you out of your negative thinking and into believing that love is always (always!) on its way to you:
1. Say Hello to Spring
As winter thaws and temperatures finally grow to double-digits, you’ll want to be outside more and more. This is good news for singles, as the best way to meet someone is to be an active participant in your community, wherever you might be. Even if you’re just riding a bike in the park, sipping coffee or cocktails at an outdoor cafe or making an effort to smile at someone at your weekly farmer’s market, getting out of your apartment and into opportunities around you will make your odds of meeting a special someone that much greater.
2. Read More Books + Take Classes
Can literature bring you the epic romantic tales that you daydream about? Not exactly – but an educated person is an attractive person, according to several studies. Regardless of what you’re interested in, study it! If you’ve always wanted to learn how to cook a pizza from scratch, take a class or try it at home. The more you investigate topics that you’re passionate about, the more you’ll have to say about them on dates. This kind of knowledge is not only beneficial for you as an individual and your lifelong learning journey, but it’s sexy to a possible partner, too.
3. Act Like It’s Already Happened
Successful entrepreneurs and business owners will tell you time-and-time again: believing something will happen is the first step in making it your reality. It’s easy to get into the game of ‘thisnever works out’ or ‘I’ll never meet someone’ – but it’s harder to change that internal language to say, ‘I haven’t found love yet, but I will soon.’ When you find yourself going down that road, close your eyes and imagine what that love life looks like. Think of all the details: how it’ll feel, what you’ll do as a couple, what characteristics are important to you, and then trust that it’ll come your way. People don’t get what they want because they’re suddenly rewarded with the gold at the end of the rainbow, they find what they’re looking for because they’ve put in the work – both mentally and emotionally – to get there.
4. Stop ‘Quick Fix’ Dating
When you can’t fall asleep because of thoughts like: “I’ve been single forever, it’s never going to happen, what if I never get married?!’, you might log on to your online dating account and make a date with someone out of fear. Falling in love when you’re afraid nothing better will come along is a recipe for an unfulfilling, unhealthy relationship. Instead of rushing to go out with someone or settling for someone who is good enough for a Friday night, take a breath, remember those things that you want, and then take the time to source them in someone. You might spend more time screening, but chances are, you’ll be happier with the outcome of the date.
5. Be Spontaneous
We all have ideas of where we’d like to be in a year, five years or even ten years. While goals are important and helpful, having an open mind (and heart) will allow things you could have never put a deadline on to come into your life. If your plan was to go to yoga, go grocery shopping, and clean the kitchen after work, but a friend tells you about a networking event with attractive, single people there – be spontaneous and change your plans. While it’s important to do things that make you happy, luck comes to those who are brave enough to put themselves out there and have some faith that even if it hasn’t worked out before… it can. And it will.
This post was originally published on eHarmony.
Lindsay, stop trying. Stop caring. He will come. You just need to relax, he is coming.
Do no believe in lack.
You can never create prosperity by talking or thinking about your lack of money. This is wasted thinking and cannot bring you abundance. Dwelling on lack only creates more lack. Poverty thinking brings more poverty. Gratitude thinking brings abundance.
There are a few negative affirmations and attitudes that are guaranteed to keep prosperity beyond your reach-for example: “I never have enough money!” That’s a terrible affirmation to use. Another unproductive one is: “Money goes out faster than it comes in.” This is poverty thinking of the worst kind. The Universe can only respond to what you believe about yourself and your life. Examine whatever negative thoughts you have about money, and then decide to release them and let them go. They haven’t served you well in the past and will not serve you well in the future.
Sometimes people think that their financial problems will be solved by inheriting money from a long-lost relative or winning the lottery. Sure, you can fantasize about such things, or even buy an occasional lottery ticket for fun, but please don’t put a lot of attention on acquiring money in this way. This is scarcity thinking, or poverty thinking, and it won’t bring lasting good into your life. Anyway, when it comes to the lottery, winning seldom brings positive changes into anyone’s life. In fact, within two years, most lottery winners have lost almost all of their money, have nothing to show for it, and are often worse off financially than before. The problem with money acquired in this way is that it rarely solves any problems. Why? Because it doesn’t involve changing your consciousness. In effect, you’re saying to the Universe: “I don’t deserve to have good in my life except by a fluke chance.”
If you would only change your consciousness, your thinking, to allow the abundance of the Universe to flow through your experience, you could have all the things you think the lottery could bring you. And you’d be able to keep them, for they would be yours by right of consciousness. Affirming, declaring, deserving, and allowing are the steps to demonstrating riches far greater that you could ever win in a lottery.
Another thing that can keep you from prospering is being dis-honest. Whatever you give out comes back to you. Always. If you take from Life, then Life will take from you. It’s that simple. You may feel that you don’t steal, but are you counting the paper clips and stamps you’re taking home from the office? Or are you a person who steals time or robs others of respect-or perhaps steals relationships? All these things count and are a way of saying to the Universe: “I don’t really deserve the good in life. I have to sneak it and take it.”
Become aware of the beliefs that may be blocking the flow of money in your life. Then change those beliefs and begin to create new, abundant thinking. Even if no one else in your family has done this, you can open your mind to the concept of money flowing into your life.
If you want to prosper, then you must use prosperity thinking. There are two prosperity affirmations that I’ve used for many years, and they work well for me. They’ll also work for you. They are:
“My income is constantly increasing,”
“I prosper wherever I turn.”
I had very little money when I started using these affirmations, but consistent practice has made them come true for me.
For a long time, I’ve believed that business is a place where we bless and prosper each other. I’ve never understood the concept of cutthroat business, where you try to cheat and put one over on the other person. That doesn’t sound like a joyous way to live. There’s so much abundance in this world-all we need to do is recognize that fact and share the wealth.
At Hay House, my publishing company, we’ve always been honest and honorable. We live up to our word, do our work well, and treat others with respect and generosity. When you live that way, it’s impossible to keep the money away; the Universe rewards you at every possible turn. Today we have a fabulous reputation in the publishing world, and so much business that we’re turning it away. We don’t want to grow so big that we lose the personal touch.
If I, an abused child who didn’t finish high school, can do it, you can, too. So once a day, stand with your arms open wide and say with joy:
“I am open and receptive to all the good and abundance in the Universe. Thank you, Life.”
Life will hear you and respond.
I AM A MAGNET FOR MONEY. PROSPERITY OF EVERY KIND IS DRAWN TO ME.
I THINK BIG, AND THEN I ALLOW MYSELF TO ACCEPT EVEN MORE GOOD FROM LIFE.
WHEREVER IT IS THAT I WORK, I AM DEEPLY APPRECIATED AND WELL COMPENSATED.
TODAY IS A DELIGHTFUL DAY. MONEY COMES TO ME IN EXPECTED AND UNEXPECTED WAYS.
I HAVE UNLIMITED CHOICES. OPPORTUNITIES ARE EVERYWHERE.
I TRULY BELIEVE THAT WE ARE HERE TO BLESS AND PROSPER EACH OTHER. I REFLECT THIS BELIEF IN MY DAILY INTERACTIONS.
I SUPPORT OTHERS IN BECOMING PROSPEROUS, AND IN TURN, LIFE SUPPORTS ME IN WONDROUS WAYS.
I NOW DO WORK I LOVE, AND I AM WELL PAID FOR IT.
THE MONEY THAT COMES TO ME TODAY IS A PLEASURE TO HANDLE. I SAVE SOME AND SPEND SOME.
I LIVE IN A LOVING, ABUNDANT, HARMONIOUS UNIVERSE, AND I AM GRATEFUL.
I AM NOW WILLING TO BE OPEN TO THE UNLIMITED PROSPERITY THAT EXISTS EVERYWHERE.
MONEY IS A STATE OF MIND THAT SUPPORTS ME. I ALLOW PROSPERITY TO ENTER MY LIFE ON A HIGHER LEVEL THAN EVER BEFORE.
LIFE SUPPLIES ALL MY NEEDS IN GREAT ABUNDANCE. I TRUST LIFE.
I RADIATE SUCCESS, AND PROSPER WHEREVER I TURN.
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION BRINGS ONLY GOOD INTO MY LIFE.
I MOVE FROM POVERTY THINKING TO PROSPERITY THINKING, AND MY FINANCES REFLECT THIS CHANGE.
I DELIGHT IN THE FINANCIAL SECURITY THAT IS A CONSTANT IN MY LIFE.
THE MORE GRATEFUL I AM FOR THE WEALTH AND ABUNDANCE IN MY LIFE, THE MORE REASONS I FIND TO BE GRATEFUL.
I EXPRESS GRATITUDE FOR ALL THE GOOD IN MY LIFE. EACH DAY BRINGS WONDERFUL NEW SURPRISES.
I PAY MY BILLS WITH LOVE, AND I REJOICE AS I WRITE OUT EACH CHECK. ABUNDANCE FLOWS FREELY THROUGH ME.
AT THIS VERY MOMENT, ENORMOUS WEALTH AND POWER ARE AVAILABLE TO ME. I CHOOSE TO FEEL WORTHY AND DESERVING.
I DESERVE THE BEST, AND I ACCEPT THE BEST NOW.
I RELEASE ALL RESISTANCE TO MONEY, AND I NOW ALLOW IT TO FLOW JOYOUSLY INTO MY LIFE.
MY GOOD COMES FROM EVERYWHERE AND EVERYONE.
Pingback: Dear Tinder: It’s Not Me, It’s You |