My parents met and married in FOUR months. (Crazy, I know!) In February, they’ll be married for 29 years. And though I know it hasn’t all been rosy for them, when I think of the kind of great, big, amazing love I want to have one day, all I have to do is check Facebook and see their latest kissing photo. (Gross, yet adorable!)
After playing the single dating game in NYC for the past three years, I would say I’m a little bitter (read: a lot, especially when I don’t have any wine), but thanks to the example of my parent’s marriage, I’m still hopeful about that one-day man I’ll meet. And when that magical time comes in my own personal romantic comedy of a life, there are a few things that I absolutely have to have in my future relationship. They aren’t big things, but they are the things that make or break a marriage.
And excuse the humble brag, but they’re things my parents have mastered and illustrated my entire life:
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The love story of your parents is amazing. Would that it was the norm in all marriages.
Smart that your Mom gave him a hard time at first, to make sure he wanted to spend time with her.
And they still love to do things together, and respect each other, 30 years later.
Thank you for continuing in your personal revelations. They give a better, thorough picture of you are.
And remind me of my own daughter, 24, and her approach to love, on the opposite coast from you, in Santa Barbara. She has described the problem with dating there. SB generates, to her mind, an obvious Peter Pan syndrome in men. A very small town, 100,000 or so with colleges attracting something like 10,000 new nubile young women of college age. Too many distractions of too many young women, and few guys seem remotely interested in being any girl/woman’s boyfriend. Not just guys in college, men through age 40 at least. To avoid predatory dating in her one year in graduate school there, she essentially adopted a boyfriend from a running group she was in. Not a long term hope, but safe for her, and all hers. He of course hoped she wanted to marry him. The “McLean Stevenson syndrome” many men have, if asked why they married someone. McLean Stevenson is said to have said his wife tricked him into marriage. How ? He said, she said she liked him.
And New York is way more than 10 times bigger than Santa Barbara, with even MORE colleges in the area.
My daughter’s current beau is a former bf of another young woman she knows. That couple broke up before my daughter started seeing him. Possibly not her Mr. Right, but he seems to at least be worth her time and trust for now.
Have a great Thanksgiving.
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