In the 12 hours after that New York Times Modern Love blog came out about the 36 questions that can make you fall in love with anyone, ten people sent the article to me. Basically the premise is this: You’re supposed to meet with a stranger, ask each other this list of questions – which are grouped into three sets – and then stare lovingly into one another’s eyes for four whole minutes. (You can blink – I think?) Twenty years ago, psychologist Arthur Aron put two straight people in a room in a lab, had them ask each other these questions, do the whole creepy stare-thing, and six months later they were married. (Wow!)
I was intrigued enough to try it myself.
I’m thankful for getting to enjoy Paris with my mama.
As a 26-year-old single gal, I occasionally have difficulty imagining what the next decade of my life might hold: finally meeting a man I love, marrying him, and eventually having children. My mom married my dad at 25, welcomed me at 27 and for the last few decades, spent her life making sure I had the best, most loving life ever. From being my personal cheerleader to my European drinking buddy, I’m amazed every single day by the strength, love and wit that my mom effortlessly brings to my world. If you’re lucky like me, your mom holds a pretty big piece of your heart and and a pretty big chunk of data in your phone plan.
So without further adieu, your mom is the most important woman in your life because…
1. She encourages you to always carry lipstick, gum and a pen.
I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl and when I declared this to my mom she said, “You better put a pen in your purse, then!” As I got older, she also suggested I always carry gum (you never know who you’ll talk to) and lipstick (you never know who you’ll want to impress). All three of these things are with me as I type this.
This post was originally published on eHarmony’s blog.
My ex and I broke up in September of 2011 – it was one of those dramatic, romantic comedy-esque kind of scenes: I asked for more, he couldn’t give it, he offered a half-hearted plea for me to stay and I grabbed the next cab I saw uptown to my apartment, while it rained (of course) and I cried the whole way home.
In the months that turned into years after that I’ve been dating in New York – one of those cities with a bad reputation for being more about career than love – I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons. Like – if a guy says he’s 5’11 in his online dating profile, he’s likely around 5’8”. Or when a guy says he’s not looking for a relationship, he’s not, no matter how easygoing, beautiful, sexy or sassy you might be. And that there are more than enough men who are willing to wine and dine you, but not too many that actually want to talk to you and listen. I think that’s why love is so valuable when we do eventually stumble across it, the work to get there feels really, really hard.
One of my favorite things to ever come from Confessions of a Love Addict is the annual self-love letter writing campaign. Over the past four years, you’ve written more than 200 letters of confidence, kindness, beauty, passion and strength… to yourself.
When you’re single – or when you’re in a relationship – it’s sometimes difficult to take a step back and truly appreciate all of the incredible things that make you… you. From the way you walk and talk to how you treat your best friends and the special gifts that only you have – there are so many things that make you one-of-a-kind.
I’m happy to introduce the 5th annual (wow!) Self-Love Letters on Confessions of a Love Addict.
Here’s how to participate:
1- Fill out this form. Remember – you can be totally anonymous! Or if you’re a blogger, I’m happy to link back to your blog. And you’re welcome to send along a photo, drawing, graphic – anything -that you’d like to go along with your letter.
The deadline to submit is Monday, February 9th.
2- If you need inspiration, check out 2011‘s, 2012‘s, 2013‘s and 2014‘s letters.
3- Check back on the blog on Valentine’s Day to see your letter. If you feel like, share it with those you love!
4- Check back on February 15th to see if you won the fun prize!
5- Love yourself. Love everything.
Every Christmas, my mom gives me an astrology reading for the New Year.
I’m not sure how much I buy into it, but I really love hearing what she has to say about the different ways the universe affects my everyday life, the choices I make, the opportunities I have and the influences around me. I don’t know if it feels accurate because she’s my mother (and knows me probably better than anyone) or if just hearing that you’ll be successful makes you conclude it’s destined, but more often than not, she is spot on and my year is usually right on track from her predictions.
As she went through all of the things that could very well happen this year – more freelancing, prosperity at work, stronger friendships, more travel – I nodded along and smiled. But when she got to the big black hole in my chart (okay, not really, but what feels like a bottomless pit of frustration) – she started to go over the signs of love orbiting my solar system. I listened intently and perhaps grinned a few times, but I also finished my generous glass of red wine and let out a hefty sigh.
I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of dating coaches. I’m actually friends with a few of them (it’s a small dating and love world, y’all) – and I love learning how they coach people to find love. Since I consider myself to be a pretty active, able and positive single gal, I never thought I needed the professional services of someone to teach me how to date…but I was curious about their expert advice on playing (and eventually getting off) the field.
So I decided to turn the tables and have a few love & relationship coaches interview ME instead of the other way around. These folks asked really tough questions about who I am, what I want and what type of guys I date and gave me tough love advice that maybe – just maybe – will land me a boyfriend.
Here’s what six dating coaches think I’m doing wrong in love:
1. I’m being too aggressive.
If there’s anything being single for the past three years has taught me, it’s that I’d rather be happy by myself then unhappy in a relationship. Maybe it’s because my parents’ almost-30-year marriage is a beautiful example of what I think a great couple is, or maybe it’s because my friends have managed to date really amazing guys. But when it comes to love, whomever I end up with better be the bomb-diggity—or I’ll pass.
That being said—if you ask anyone who knows me pretty well, they’d say that I was pretty picky.