Quick: When you woke up this morning and looked in the mirror, did you say something nice or start criticizing flaws? In that work meeting you led a few weeks ago, did you pat yourself on the back, or nitpick every little detail?
When you’re always trying to improve, it’s easy to get caught up in a self-confidence spiral. But here’s the thing: According to several studies, the stories we tell ourselves directly contribute to our happiness level and day-to-day satisfaction.
Are you single? Cool, welcome to the club (I’m three years and goin’ strong!). Like me, you probably straddle the line between hating your single status and not minding it. You probably also have those moments where you think: What is wrong with me?
On Monday – I’m starting the Whole30 Food Challenge (wish me all of the luck, I’m going to need it) – to get my health and fitness back on track. But more importantly than resolving to be healthier – I’m changing the way I think in my head about love.
Sure, I could write all sorts of blogs about how I feel, what I think, what men do on dates, what I want – but it all boils down to the thoughts I repeat over and over every single day. I really believe what you think has the power to shape your world, and I choose to live by positivity, passion, confidence and of course, always, love.
From my Pinterest board to yours – here are the quotes I’m going to remember. I hope you’ll find one that speaks to you – and makes you believe in all of the magic that’s waiting for you this year:
As every single girl knows, New Year’s seems so romantic and ripe with possibility (Sparkles! Champagne! Heels! A New Year that could bring love!), but the reality is: the night of high expectations usually turns out to be a dud.
Even so, when the clock strikes midnight, we all bring out our chapstick and look anxiously around the room for someone to ring in the New Year with a smooch. Though I’ve never kissed anyone I was dating at midnight (and the last two years, I watched jealously as all thecouples around me made out), I still get my hopes up that one year, I will finally have on of those magical liplocks with someone I love.
I know you exist.
Somewhere out in this mad city, or this crazy country or this beautifully ridiculous world, I know you exist. You have hopes that I’ve never heard, that I don’t know about yet, but these dreams paired with my wild ambitions will create our future. You have been walking on this planet, doing things and making things and being things that mean something to you. I know you are working that 9-6 (or 7 or 8) just like me, wondering when you’ll get where you’re going, even if you’re not sure where that is, exactly, just yet. I know you wake up every morning and you go to sleep every night, and in those hours, those minutes, those seconds in between, you make hundreds of decisions that have yet to lead you to me.
I know you are loved.
There is this family, these friends, these people that have the privilege to talk to you daily. These people have heard your laugh and felt your embrace, they know your voice when you speak and they have memories that go back to the decades I’ve never known you. There are people who think of you because you’ve actually spent time with them, there are women who have shared your heart and your hands, your bed and been stuck in your head. There are people who know your favorite dish, how you take your whiskey and what team you cheer for on Sundays and Mondays at the pub near your apartment, on some street in some place in some city. There are people who love you because you are already so wonderful.
It’s been a while since I’ve been in one of those relationship things. You know, that thing where you have a guy who adores you, who you hang out with all the time, and with whom you have consistent (good) sex? I wouldn’t say it’s changed me for the worse (in fact, I’ve learned a lot about myself, what I want and what I definitely don’t), but being a single gal in NYC for the past three years has made me develop a few slightly irrational fears. Or okay, a lot of them.
But I know I’m not the only one who has nightmares about being attacked in my sleep by the nonexistent cat I don’t own or that my boobs will sag to my knees before I ever have a chance for someone to truly appreciate them. Right?
I went on a date on Sunday… with my literary agent.
If you could see me right now, you would see a grin ear-to-ear, and if you could get inside my heart, you’d feel it beating frantically out of its chest. There are very few words to describe just how happy – and excited and thankful! – I feel to have someone actively trying to turn this little ‘ole blog of mine into a book. (When it happens, you will all be the first to know, I promise!)
Even so, I was nervous to meet him (and afraid he wouldn’t like me) – but my gut was right: it was two hours of constant rapport, brainstorming and storytelling. And then he said something that just about made me cry: