The Real Reason You’re Still Single

When I can’t fall asleep or post-savasana in yoga class when my mind is supposed to be clear, I start to wrestle with negative thoughts. Most of the time I can ward them off, but there’s one that plagues me more than any other (possibly because it’s a big fear of mine):

Why the hell am I still single?

I could list all of the things that are great about me and what I could bring to a relationship, but while those things are true, it’s also true that I’m pretty damn picky. And that I like the little life and routine I’ve built for myself. And that I keep dating in the same way (online, at the bars) and expecting different results. And well, I don’t date as much as I know I should be (isn’t once a week enough?!). Continue reading

13 Types of Special Sex You Will Probably Have

I lost my virginity the way that most girls dream about: to my dedicated, kind high school boyfriend who adored me, with candles lit and Boys II Men playing softly in the background. Totally not kidding. My first ‘special sex’ was pretty stereotypical (and so sweet), but it took me nearly a decade to really understand just how “special” sex can get.

There’s nothing like that first time you orgasm and finally understand what the hype is all about, or when you get up the nerve to have a sexy vacation tryst (and no, you’ll never see that person again, but whoa, what a night). Or frankly, when you feel like a lingerie model because you’ve worked so hard to get fit, and you’re crazy-confident on top.

Special sex is special for a reason. And thus, here are a few types of rendezvouses that every woman should experience at least once in her lifetime……

1. The “We Just Said ‘I Love You’ and I’m Trying My Best Not to Cry” Sex

OMG, we’re totaling changing our Facebook status in the morning, but first … get naked, babe.


Continue reading

5 Years in New York and… I Don’t Know

In October of last year, with my mouth full of tortilla chips and tequila on my brain, I was talking about how long I’ve lived in New York, when my friend Erin interrupted me, “Linds, it won’t be four years in March that you’ve lived here. It’ll be five years!”

In that moment – and frankly, in this one – I was in disbelief that half of a decade has passed since those black Target pumps marched out of JFK into what, at the time, seemed like the start of everything.

I didn’t know it then – but it really was. March 14, 2010 was the beginning of what has become not a journey or a roller coaster, not a blog post or a story, not some romantic comedy or book that’s yet to be published… but the start of my adult life. 

My first birthday in New York, before I started this blog a few days later. With Erin.

My first birthday in New York, before I started this blog a few days later. With Erin.

As I sat down to write this post, highlighting some profound lesson from many lessons and experiences in Manhattan (and Brooklyn and Queens), I kept coming up short. Every other year, I had a clear picture of what I wanted to write about: what it means to be a New Yorker, how the rain has followed all of my prized moments, how I almost gave up on New York (and myself) but didn’t, my own version of ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go’ – but this year…

…I drew one hell of a big blank. Continue reading

So, I Had An Invisible Boyfriend For a Month (Really)

You know the scene: You’re at a bar with your gals on a Friday night and a drunken weirdo won’t stop hitting on you hardcore, even though you’ve made it very clear you’re not interested. For many ladies, the ‘I have a boyfriend!’ white lie is an easy escape tactic. But guess what? It doesn’t have to be a white lie anymore! With InvisibleBoyfriend.com, you can create a magical fake boyfriend that sends you text messages, leaves you voicemails, and gives you all the (fake) validation you could ever want. Obviously, I had to try it. Continue reading

15 Things Your Future Hubby Wants You to Know

Last week, I wrote a blog about things I’m embarrassed to tell my future husband. Much to my surprise, it went viral! I couldn’t believe all of the folks reaching out about the things I crave from someone – words of affirmation, lots of great sex, asking my dad for my hand in marriage – saying they wanted the same qualities.

In response to my list, Keith Dent, a blogger and marriage coach (and hubby with three kids) wrote what he needed from his wife. If you’re anything like me, this list just might bring ya to tears (I mean, c’mon, read #9 in my needs!).

Enjoy ladies, here’s a letter from your future hubby:

 

As your future husband, it was very refreshing to read your story before we met. I don’t meet too many women who are open an honest with their feelings.

I hope you don’t overlook me because I’m not that tall, dark and handsome guy that you always seem to notice. I’m on the sensitive side, but I know that when we meet our chemistry will be instantaneous.

Before we meet and start to make wedding plans, there is one thing you must know. I will have fears too. Not right away, but they will develop much later in our marriage. Continue reading

Dear Future Hubby: This is What I Need

When it comes to meeting my husband one day, I’m a little worried. Not because I’m afraid it won’t happen (okay, that’s a complete lie, but moving on) but because I’ve been single for a while. And though this solo stint has taught me at ton about my values and desires, it’s also has given me time to think about thethings I absolutely need in a partner.

Some are a little unrealistic, some are must-haves and others will probably pop up along the way, but in no particular order, here are the things that I’ll need from my future husband.

I need you …

1. To say – and write – loving things to me a lot.

I’m absolutely in love with words. And especially loving words. Even if it’s as simple as “I love you” on a Post-It by the Keurig once a week, do it. I’ll also settle for a text message (or 20), too. Continue reading

The People Who Never (Ever) Let Me Give Up On Love

Like any other single girl – there are times that I’m a bit down about not having someone special in my life. Though I think Valentine’s Day is a little overrated (if you love someone, tell them always!) – I really can’t remember the last time I shared a romantic holiday with a great guy.

That being said – this past year as taught me so much more about love, in all the forms it comes in. Because I finally let go of Mr. P (and ahem, stopped sleeping with him), I spent all of 2014 focusing on myself and cultivating truly incomparable friendships with the best human beings I’ve ever known.

So while I won’t be toasting with champagne with the man I’ll marry this Valentine’s Day, I will be publishing your Self-Love letters all the way from Copenhagen, Denmark with my dear friend, J. And before that, from my heart to yours, I want to share the best advice I’ve been given about dating, love and relationships from those incredibly special to me.

Even if I’m not in love, these incredible people make my heart so full, and for that, I’m thankful every single day. I love you all – thank you for reminding me to not give up on love, even when it’s the only thing I want to do.

Think of your future daughter.
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“If you are looking for a husband, a true partner, think about your future daughter. Is he someone you’d want to set her up with? If your answer isn’t immediately ‘yes’ – then walk away.” –From my lovely, talented, sassy and kind-hearted friend, K. She is one of the wisest women I know, and is always willing to share her wisdom, heart… and bottle of wine. 

 

Find someone who pushes you. 

Screen Shot 2015-02-06 at 4.44.14 PM“I think the key is to find someone who pushes you to be your best self, but still loves you when you’re not.” –From K – who has an effortless enthusiasm about her that brings so much laughter, inspiration and beauty to everyone she comes across. No question is too crazy, no worry too awful, she’s always there to lend an ear. 

Continue reading