27 Things I’m No Longer Worrying About

A few days ago, after a walk with Lucy, I ate my lunch under a tree near my apartment. It was one of those perfect almost-Autumn days, and as I have for the past five-and-a-half years in New York, I watched life unfold around me. There was an old man who brought out a lawn chair and was sunbathing, some girls around my age talking up a storm (likely about the night before), a couple with their small baby and a snuggling two-some sneaking in kisses between the breeze.

And here I was, sitting awkwardly on my backpack, guilting myself for skipping an exercise class because I was tired, wondering when this guy that I met would text me back. As much as things have changed – and so have I – in all of this time, I still have to battle those same insecurities, regardless of how far I’ve come in my self-love journey. The park embodied so many of the things that I dream of having, and often times, I can count up the things I don’t have instead of taking stock in what I do. And though I can dream of the beautiful things I hope are before me, it’s hard to get past what’s in sight to believe in what you can’t see until it’s yours.

I turned over my iPhone and took a sip of water, rubbing my shoulders as the temperature started to drop, and I turned my attention on a kid’s birthday party. There was a grandfather with a toddler, laughing and chasing around each other until the babe accidentally let go of the red balloon she was holding. She started to cry, but her grandfather scooped her up and pointed to the sky.

I couldn’t hear what he said – I was too far away – but I imagine it was a distraction technique that somehow, piqued her interest away from a tantrum. The only thing was, all of the kids watched this happened and looked up…

…and they all let go of their balloons. Continue reading

I Hope You Fall in Love With Yourself This Year…

Four years later – you’ve written more than 200 self-love letters on Valentine’s Day. Every year I read these letters, sometimes with a glass of wine, and my heart just swells. How incredible it is that so many of you – from Australia to Wyoming – are taking a (very special) moment to remember what makes you so lovely. Because you are – you are so full of sass, smarts, kindness, beauty, hope, power, strength, courage and of course… love.

On Valentine’s Day and always, from my heart to yours, never forget the words you’ve written below. And if you haven’t written anything -that’s ok! – I dare you to put something on paper. You’ll be amazed at how cleansing and empowering it really is to simply… be loved by yourself.


Lindsay Aurora Tigar, 

10247462_10101105061669648_7766286907397873369_n-1This year, you’ve left me a little speechless. Which is a rarity for you – considering you live your life through words, both written and often, excitedly spoken. I think your mom probably said it best when you went South to visit for the holidays: “You’re so full of love, Linds, I can just feel it. You’re bursting.”

And you are.

Like you always have, you set your mind to do something in 2014, and damn it – you did it. You finally let go of the past and you forgave yourself for being imperfect. You forgave New York and all of the men and all of the frustrations for not working on your timeline, and you then went an extra step: you threw that to-do list away and you started living your life.

A year later, you have now stamped your passport with England, France, Italy, and right now, when this letter publishes, you’ll be in Denmark (and possibly swinging by Sweden for dinner, simply because you can). You have worked so incredibly hard to make your freelancing career take off – and now your byline is, well, everywhere. You always dreamed of writing a book one day… and now you have an agent (a real agent!). You had the courage to leave a bad job that made you unhappy to take a chance on a start-up that you’ve fallen in love with (and loves you back). You wanted to move downtown and be closer to the scene, and you wanted roommates you could also be friends with, and here you are in this East Village apartment, listening to C hum in the kitchen while she cooks. You wanted to be kinder to yourself and to your body, and you are more active than you’ve ever been, you put better things in your body, and girlfriend – you look awesome. You worked hard for that body – and you’re still working. I love that you remind yourself that you’re (more than) enough almost every single day, it’s important. Don’t stop doing that.

And love? Well. You’re a bit disappointed that almost three-and-a-half years since you last broke up with someone, you’re still wondering where that special guy is. But I tell you something: he’s definitely somewhere. I wish I knew where (then you’d stop worrying so much about it) – but I do know he exists. And I also know you’ll meet him one very fine day, but in the meantime, you’re doing a pretty incredible job of spreading love everywhere you go. To readers, to your friends, to your Facebook friends (they aren’t always the same), to your co-workers, to your dog (and her puppy friends), to your family near and far, to strangers on the street – literally, to everyone.

And that has made you bursting with love, like your mom noticed. Maybe more importantly, you can feel it. You feel that love in your heart – it’s warm, it’s powerful, it can’t be contained. You want to spread it. You want people to have hope. You want people to be full of fire and magic and endless positivity. You are one of the most thoughtful, caring, good-spirited and yet, incredibly sassy and confident women I’ve met. Everyone tells you that your eyes are beautiful – and they are, but mostly because of the person that’s shining from behind them. Keep sharing your heart with the world. Keep traveling and seeing the world. Keep believing in goodness, in romance, in butterflies, in your dreams, in yourself.

I won’t tell you to stop worrying – a part of you always will. But every once in a while, Linds? Maybe after yoga or when you’re walking those two miles to and from work each day, stop. Take a deep breath. Look at all of the things unfolding around you. Own the part of the universe that you make better. Smile that beautiful smile of yours (with your teeth!). Love with that beautiful soul. And my love, one day, you will have what you want. The book. The house. The bylines in prestigious publications. The kitchen that’s actually big enough to cook in. The backyard for Lucy. The passport that needs more pages for more stamps. The babies. The income to allow more freedom. And yes, the man, that love of your life.

It will all be there one day, but today, on Valentine’s Day, and all the time, stop. Relax. Dance. Believe. Share. Live with your heart out loud.
With all my heart, Linds, 26, New York City

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6 Reasons You’re More Badass Than You Think

Quick: When you woke up this morning and looked in the mirror, did you say something nice or start criticizing flaws? In that work meeting you led a few weeks ago, did you pat yourself on the back, or nitpick every little detail?

When you’re always trying to improve, it’s easy to get caught up in a self-confidence spiral. But here’s the thing: According to several studies, the stories we tell ourselves directly contribute to our happiness level and day-to-day satisfaction.

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The Most Important Thing to Remember in Dating

This post was originally published on eHarmony’s blog.

My ex and I broke up in September of 2011 – it was one of those dramatic, romantic comedy-esque kind of scenes: I asked for more, he couldn’t give it, he offered a half-hearted plea for me to stay and I grabbed the next cab I saw uptown to my apartment, while it rained (of course) and I cried the whole way home.

In the months that turned into years after that I’ve been dating in New York – one of those cities with a bad reputation for being more about career than love – I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons. Like – if a guy says he’s 5’11 in his online dating profile, he’s likely around 5’8”. Or when a guy says he’s not looking for a relationship, he’s not, no matter how easygoing, beautiful, sexy or sassy you might be. And that there are more than enough men who are willing to wine and dine you, but not too many that actually want to talk to you and listen. I think that’s why love is so valuable when we do eventually stumble across it, the work to get there feels really, really hard.

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Write a Love Letter… To Yourself!

One of my favorite things to ever come from Confessions of a Love Addict is the annual self-love letter writing campaign. Over the past four years, you’ve written more than 200 letters of confidence, kindness, beauty, passion and strength… to yourself.

When you’re single – or when you’re in a relationship – it’s sometimes difficult to take a step back and truly appreciate all of the incredible things that make you… you. From the way you walk and talk to how you treat your best friends and the special gifts that only you have – there are so many things that make you one-of-a-kind.

I’m happy to introduce the 5th annual (wow!) Self-Love Letters on Confessions of a Love Addict.

Here’s how to participate:

1- Fill out this form. Remember – you can be totally anonymous! Or if you’re a blogger, I’m happy to link back to your blog. And you’re welcome to send along a photo, drawing, graphic – anything -that you’d like to go along with your letter.

The deadline to submit is Monday, February 9th

2- If you need inspiration, check out 2011‘s, 2012‘s, 2013‘s and 2014‘s letters.

3- Check back on the blog on Valentine’s Day to see your letter. If you feel like, share it with those you love!

4- Check back on February 15th to see if you won the fun prize!

5- Love yourself. Love everything.

Stop Wondering What You Don’t Have

There was a period of time last year when I basically refused to go out.

I wouldn’t say I was depressed – that’s a bit of an exaggeration for me – but I wasn’t happy. There were a lot of things going on, from my family to my non-existent love life – and no matter how hard I tried or how much I damned myself to be more hopeful, I just couldn’t get there. And when my friends all made fun plans to go bar hopping in Brooklyn or hit up a gimmicky club in the Lower East Side, I politely joined them for dinner and weaseled my way out of of the late night excursions.

Logically, I knew that staying home snuggled up with my pup wouldn’t get me closer to finding The Infamous Love of All Loves – but emotionally, I couldn’t stomach standing in some crowded place, having drinks spilled on me and drunken guys attempting to hit on me while slurring their words. I wasn’t in the mood for it and frankly, at the time, I didn’t believe it would actually help me meet anyone worth meeting (I’m still not convinced it will, for the record, but I do go out more now). But more than the immature 24-year-olds hitting on me or the blaring pop music…

…it was all of those girls.

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8 Reasons Every Single Woman Should Go on a Date at Least Once a Week

Earlier this year, my roommate and I were lazily lounging on our Ikea couch, splitting a bottle of $5 wine and bitching hard core about men. As we went through the annoying guys we were making boring small talk with on Tinder, the ones who matched us on Hinge, and the questionable picks on OkCupid—I kept thinking…we aren’t actually dating.

Until we started the dating pact. Sure it isn’t always easy, but we have each other to keep us going.

We remind each other of all of the reasons why we should go on a date—even when we don’t want to.

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