I Was Rejected By a Guy Because of Something I Wrote on This Blog

If there’s one thing I won’t reveal on a first date, it’s my last name.

Thanks to a robust writing portfolio and popular dating blog, if a dude searches my name after our happy hour meet-up, he could discovereverything I think about dating, love, and sex. Sorry you’re not sorry, Google! It is sometimes really, really frustrating to have the thing that you love to do be the thing you can’t tell possible boyfriends about (until they get to know you, at least).

Even though it’s something I’ve dealt with since I started writing about my love life four years ago, I’ve never felt ashamed about any of my blog posts until a few weeks ago when I went out with Aaron.

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Stop Wondering What You Don’t Have

There was a period of time last year when I basically refused to go out.

I wouldn’t say I was depressed – that’s a bit of an exaggeration for me – but I wasn’t happy. There were a lot of things going on, from my family to my non-existent love life – and no matter how hard I tried or how much I damned myself to be more hopeful, I just couldn’t get there. And when my friends all made fun plans to go bar hopping in Brooklyn or hit up a gimmicky club in the Lower East Side, I politely joined them for dinner and weaseled my way out of of the late night excursions.

Logically, I knew that staying home snuggled up with my pup wouldn’t get me closer to finding The Infamous Love of All Loves – but emotionally, I couldn’t stomach standing in some crowded place, having drinks spilled on me and drunken guys attempting to hit on me while slurring their words. I wasn’t in the mood for it and frankly, at the time, I didn’t believe it would actually help me meet anyone worth meeting (I’m still not convinced it will, for the record, but I do go out more now). But more than the immature 24-year-olds hitting on me or the blaring pop music…

…it was all of those girls.

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Love Addict’s Acts of Love December Challenge

When this year started, I decided I would stop looking for romantic life in my own life, and I would try my best to see love in every single day – and all around me. I figured if I could just capture all of that love and savor it, then it would help me not give up on my personal journey to finding that relationship that I want.

And ya know what? I was right.

By opening my eyes and looking at the love of my friends, my family, my dog, my city, my job, my runs, my workout classes, my roommates – all of it – I became even more optimistic than I ever was before.

So for the last month of this very special year, I want to pay it back. I want to show acts of love to strangers, friends, family members, my pup and all of you by introducing…

The Love Addict Acts of Love Challenge 

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It’s really easy: every single day of the month in December, do something loving for someone else. And because I believe to discover great love, you must have great love for yourself, throw in some self-love actions in there, too.

Now – this doesn’t have to be crazy, it can be really simple: taking something off of a co-worker’s plate, calling your mom more than you would, taking your dog to the dogpark for an extra long run, buying someone’s coffee, holding the door for someone, emailing someone you love and telling them just why they’re amazing, and so much more. Anything and everything that is kind-hearted, loving and comes from a genuine place – do it!

And if you would like to share some of these moments with me – and the world – please use the #LoveAddictActsofLove on Twitter and Instagram. I’ll be sharing some of my acts on my Instagram, so feel free to follow if you’d like some inspiration. I’ll pick a few winners at the end of the month to send a prize pack to – as my final act of love for the month.

So, who is with me? Who wants to pay love forward? I promise you’ll be SO impressed with how much less you worry about dating blunders, being single again during the holidays and when you’ll ever meet that right person once you take the focus off of the search, and look around you to see all the love that’s already all around you.

 

How the Hell Do You Get Out of a Bad Date…Nicely?

always worry when the texting is too good before a first date. It’s almost like some sort of cruel trick from the universe—if you’re really, really connecting with someone via emojis and clever answers to the most basic of questions, the chemistry almost never translates in person.

Case in point: a guy named Charles I went out with a month ago.

I was searching for tights at T.J.Maxx when we started chatting on Tinder. Right from the start, he was an excellent conversationalist and asking the kind of questions you want men to ask: What are you most passionate about? Why did you make the big move from NC? What makes you happy? And best of all, like me, he had a dog—so he totally understood that I needed to head home post-work to walk Lucy before meeting up at a swanky lounge.

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What Boy Do You Need to Let Go Of?

A year ago, I published a blog called ‘Dear Boy.’ It was an ode to all of the jerks I went out with that year as a way to dismiss them and let ‘em go. I was amazed when I received so many letters from all over the world of women (and men!) experiencing the same let down.

I don’t know what it is about writing, but it sure does get it out, doesn’t it?

So in honor of releasing all the bad of the year to prepare for a bright, amazing year ahead, I want to encourage you to write Dear Boy letters again! You’re welcome to anonymously submit or use your name (or a fake one).

Just click this link and fill it out. I’ll email you when you it’s published.

To inspire you, here’s one from me:

Dear Boy Who I Though Could Have Really Been Something,

After our marathon date that lasted nearly 48 hours, I was smitten. Our conversation and chemistry was magnetic and I was so impressed with your follow-up. You were handsome and charming, and yet, a little more reserved than I usually go for. I thought stepping outside of my normal dating routine and going for someone who was less the life of the party and more an intellectual with a goofy side would be good for me. But what I didn’t realize is that you weren’t really grown-up yet. You didn’t know how to manage stress. You didn’t know how to balance life, work and love. You didn’t know how to stop being selfish and frankly, you didn’t know how to give a girl an orgasm. I was a little sad when we ended things – at some bar in midtown – but more than anything, I was relieved. I didn’t want another relationship where I did all the work, where I had to put up a big fight and do the wooing. I want someone who can do that all on his own. And I know I’ll find him, and I hope you are one day able to take a deep breath, relax and really let yourself fall for someone. It’ll be a lonely life if you don’t.

With love, Linds

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Confession: I Haven’t Had Sex in Almost Six Months

So here’s the honest truth: I haven’t had sex since July.

I know, I know—you would think for someone who dates as much as I do and is so open about her personal life, I’d be getting a little more nooky. But since I ended that kind-of-relationship with Patrick right after the Fourth of July, I haven’t been laid. Sadly, I haven’t even been touched more than a drunken ass grab outside some crummy bar downtown.

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Why I Haven’t Given Up On Love

Screen Shot 2014-11-11 at 11.44.40 PMA year ago, I was out with friends when a cute guy started to talk to us. In many ways, he was the type of person I’ve gone out with so many times before: educated, handsome, tall, in banking, a little bit of an asshole and a whole lot of charming. It might have been my frustration with dating at the time or that I saw so many ex-boyfriends in his eyes, peering back at me over his vodka water – but I just wasn’t into it.

He, however, was relentless.

We bantered for a while, but as soon as my friends gave me an exit, I turned away. He stopped me and I smiled, as I calmly said, “Look, you seem great, but I just don’t think I’d want to continue this. I’m trying to be smarter about who I go out with.”

He looked shocked (rightfully so), but he grinned as he replied, “I was about to ask you for your number. But you’re right, I was mainly trying to sleep with you. How long have you been single?”

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