My Word of the Year for 2015 Is… (Hint: It’s Not ‘Love’)

Last year, I decided I wasn’t going to make resolutions anymore. Not because I don’t believe in making positive changes or giving up vices, but because it’s really hard to live by a set of rules – in life, in dating, in anything. So my mom made a great suggestion: just pick a word.

So, last year, I picked: ‘yes.’

And wow – did I wear that word out! In any situation where I would normally turn my head or turn something down, I decided to jump in. I had one more drink. I went on another trip. I booked another fitness class. I ran another half-marathon. I moved apartments and doubled my rent. I changed jobs so I could be at a company that I truly believed in. I bought that Kate Spade wallet (cough, on sale) that I really, really wanted. I wrote things from my heart that I usually wouldn’t have admitted. I gained weight because I overindulged in mostly anything. More than any of the other years – probably combined – I truly, 100 percent lived.

2014 was really the year I went for it – and in 2015, I’m going to learn to be excited about everything I’ve found, created, mastered, tried and loved the past few years. Generally speaking, I’m a pretty positive person, but just like anyone else, I can get in some really, really bad downward-spiraling-out-of-control ruts where I feel like nothing will ever work out how I so badly want it to. And maybe because of my wild sense of ambition… I’m never really satisfied with where I am.

But I want to be content with today. Right now. This moment. This half-hour that I sit here with coffee, listening to jazz and writing this blog. I want to find peace in the present and … thrilled with all of the things that I’m thankful for.

From friendships and my health to dating and my career, here are the ways I’m going to make ‘happy’ my word of the year for 2015:

A happy body.
As hard as is it is to type this (and thus, making it real to me): I’ve gained nearly 15 pounds in a year. I suppose I’m lucky in the fact that it usually doesn’t show (too much) on me, but I can tell in my clothes. And my face. And in how I feel when I’m standing naked in front of the mirror. I’ve been putting off changing my diet and limiting those late-nights out for fear that it would be impossible to go on dates or be social with my friends, but I made the decision to change my lifestyle for myself. Until I feel healthy and happy about the way I look and feel, I won’t be able to exude confidence like I used to. I’m training for my third half-marathon in April, and I started the Whole30 Food Challenge yesterday, and I’m signed up for 6+ fitness classes this week – wish me luck!

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Write a Love Letter… To Yourself!

One of my favorite things to ever come from Confessions of a Love Addict is the annual self-love letter writing campaign. Over the past four years, you’ve written more than 200 letters of confidence, kindness, beauty, passion and strength… to yourself.

When you’re single – or when you’re in a relationship – it’s sometimes difficult to take a step back and truly appreciate all of the incredible things that make you… you. From the way you walk and talk to how you treat your best friends and the special gifts that only you have – there are so many things that make you one-of-a-kind.

I’m happy to introduce the 5th annual (wow!) Self-Love Letters on Confessions of a Love Addict.

Here’s how to participate:

1- Fill out this form. Remember – you can be totally anonymous! Or if you’re a blogger, I’m happy to link back to your blog. And you’re welcome to send along a photo, drawing, graphic – anything -that you’d like to go along with your letter.

The deadline to submit is Monday, February 9th

2- If you need inspiration, check out 2011‘s, 2012‘s, 2013‘s and 2014‘s letters.

3- Check back on the blog on Valentine’s Day to see your letter. If you feel like, share it with those you love!

4- Check back on February 15th to see if you won the fun prize!

5- Love yourself. Love everything.

36 Incredibly Powerful Quotes to Live By This Year

On Monday – I’m starting the Whole30 Food Challenge (wish me all of the luck, I’m going to need it) – to get my health and fitness back on track. But more importantly than resolving to be healthier – I’m changing the way I think in my head about love.

Sure, I could write all sorts of blogs about how I feel, what I think, what men do on dates, what I want – but it all boils down to the thoughts I repeat over and over every single day. I really believe what you think has the power to shape your world, and I choose to live by positivity, passion, confidence and of course, always, love.

From my Pinterest board to yours – here are the quotes I’m going to remember. I hope you’ll find one that speaks to you – and makes you believe in all of the magic that’s waiting for you this year:

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I Am (More Than) Enough

tumblr_mgsnsiYtrz1rn5hl8o1_500-1Every Christmas, my mom gives me an astrology reading for the New Year.

I’m not sure how much I buy into it, but I really love hearing what she has to say about the different ways the universe affects my everyday life, the choices I make, the opportunities I have and the influences around me. I don’t know if it feels accurate because she’s my mother (and knows me probably better than anyone) or if just hearing that you’ll be successful makes you conclude it’s destined, but more often than not, she is spot on and my year is usually right on track from her predictions.

As she went through all of the things that could very well happen this year – more freelancing, prosperity at work, stronger friendships, more travel – I nodded along and smiled. But when she got to the big black hole in my chart (okay, not really, but what feels like a bottomless pit of frustration) – she started to go over the signs of love orbiting my solar system. I listened intently and perhaps grinned a few times, but I also finished my generous glass of red wine and let out a hefty sigh.

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The 14 Types of Kisses You Might Have Tonight

As every single girl knows, New Year’s seems so romantic and ripe with possibility (Sparkles! Champagne! Heels! A New Year that could bring love!), but the reality is: the night of high expectations usually turns out to be a dud.

Even so, when the clock strikes midnight, we all bring out our chapstick and look anxiously around the room for someone to ring in the New Year with a smooch. Though I’ve never kissed anyone I was dating at midnight (and the last two years, I watched jealously as all thecouples around me made out), I still get my hopes up that one year, I will finally have on of those magical liplocks with someone I love.

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The Worst Online Messages I Received This Year

For every semi-decent guy I’m actually interested in online, I probably receive about 10 odd, spammy—and sometime scary—messages in my inbox. In the wild, wild west of the digital dating world, you really don’t know what you’re going to get when you swipe to see what that Tinder notification was all about.

Though the crazy messages don’t really phase me anymore and I usually just share the screenshots with my friends for a midday laugh during lunch, perhaps there’s something to be learned from these ridiculous one-sided exchanges?

You know, like this important lesson: run far, far away from any of these guys if you ever receive a message to the ones below. Hopefully, 2015 will bring me a boyfriend—or at least a less-intense inbox:

1. The One Who Wanted Me to Eat Doritos

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I Asked 6 Dating Experts Why I’m Still Single

I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of dating coaches. I’m actually friends with a few of them (it’s a small dating and love world, y’all) – and I love learning how they coach people to find love. Since I consider myself to be a pretty active, able and positive single gal, I never thought I needed the professional services of someone to teach me how to date…but I was curious about their expert advice on playing (and eventually getting off) the field.

So I decided to turn the tables and have a few love & relationship coaches interview ME instead of the other way around. These folks asked really tough questions about who I am, what I want and what type of guys I date and gave me tough love advice that maybe – just maybe – will land me a boyfriend.

Here’s what six dating coaches think I’m doing wrong in love:

1. I’m being too aggressive.

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